Courage and Bravery

Courage and bravery are words that most of us have a hard time defining. Perhaps that is so, because most of us have truely never had to muster up REAL courage and REAL bravery. These are usually reserved for those who serve in the military or do some "heroic" act to save another's life. But yesterday, I saw a little 5th grade boy muster up all the courage and bravery that most of us, would have run from.

I am so blessed to be called to teach children with special needs. They continually show me strength, courage, bravery, and unconditional love. Yesterday was the 5th grade graduation at our school. It's a "ceremony" which celebrates the ending of grade school and the beginning of middle school. There is the usual "pomp and circumstance" song playing while all the "graduates" march in two by two. Typically, this is an exciting day for all our kids. But yesterday, for one little boy with autism, it was a living nightmare. You see, little C has a VERY DIFFICULT time with loud noises. Usually he doesn't go to assemblies because of the noise level with alot of people around. I was concerned that he was going to have problems, but he seemed to take the practices in stride (not without a few incidences though). I had planned to stay with him as long as needed to reassure him that he COULD walk down that aisle. He was VERY anxious yesterday morning as he arrived at school. I anticipated he would be, and intercepted him at the door. He came into my room and read books and played a few video gamesinstead of going to his classroom, to shield him from all the excitement there.
The big moment arrived when his class lined up to walk the aisle. He clung to me for reassurance and I assured him he could do it. He was irritated. He was cranky. He didn't want anyone to tell him how nice he looked. The anxiety was getting to a fever pitch, but he hung in there. He wanted me to walk him to the "arch" and then let him walk alone to his seat. I agreed. His biggest fear was being embarressed because all those people would be looking at him.
Well...we made it to the arch and I let him go...and as soon as I let go he stiffened his arms and briskly (he was supposed slowly walk) walked to his seat. As he looked rather awkward walking down the aisle the crowd laughed....OMG he knew they were laughing at him. And he was right....they were laughing at him...no malice intentended, but they laughed. He threw his face into his hands and said loudly, "they're laughing at me"...his teacher quickly came off the stage to escort him to the hall where I was rounding the curve. He ran to his room and I followed ...I found him in a corner crying,"they laughed at me, they laughed at me..don't make me go back in there."...my heart was broken..he had mustered all the courage he could, just to walk down that aisle and he was crushed. His dad found us and he also welled up...I had to step up to the plate and be a professional..not cry, not be angry,but take control of the situation...he and his dad needed me to be the professional...
In short time, he calmed and I managed to get him back into the assembly to finish his graduation...he DID walk across that stage to receive his certificate..without incidence. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT...
C never ceases to amaze me...he showed what courage was all about..he showed what bravery is all about..Even through the autism, C did what most of us "normal" people only think we could do...we couldn't. C, you are my hero. C, you taught me more than most people in my life have. C, I love you and will sorely miss you.
My hat is tippped to all my special needs kids, who, everyday, deal with adversities. I love you all...here's to the class of 2009.....